Jul 2, 2020
I am feeling so inspired and excited by the many suggestions you left for me while commenting on the last post. I have to say that between the Great Interrupter and Black Lives Matter; I feel like I checked into a rehab center. It’s been like a detox from the consumerist social media world and the need for constant self-promotion I got lost in. Living a “fashionable” life is so much more than the clothes you wear. It’s also how you “wear” your values, experience, and morality. Clothes or other “things” that give us pleasure and values that honor all people and the planet don’t have to be mutually exclusive. It can be a creative challenge to find the intersections.
While I would be naïve to say that resources don’t matter I know you can still live a large life with a smaller amount of resources. In fact, before becoming the Accidental Icon, that was pretty much how I lived. I’ve written before about my “schizo” high/low-class upbringing. This informs who I am and probably accounts for my ability to look luxurious, while wearing secondhand clothing, in a scene of an everyday NYC street in my neighborhood. I think a central question and challenge for me in this time of economic uncertainty is how to generate a “good enough” income while keeping the focus on the people and the planet. It’s a challenge we can meet if we think creatively.
As my “new” profession is one that is part of the “gig” economy and as part of the service economy affected most severely by this recession, I’m back to living as I was before the Accidental Icon. This is the “Great Reminder” the Great Interrupter has taught me. A newfound appreciation for less, a sharper, clearer perspective on what makes up value and quality. An expanded understanding of luxury. During my stint in “rehab” I’ve discovered I’m happy with less. I love being less frantic and busy. I’m consuming less, producing less waste. Given the constraints of having to produce content in my apartment and protect my privacy, I’ve found how to stretch my creativity again within limits. I understand that the most valuable asset I possess is my health and my family, and for that, I am so grateful.
I found an article in Rolling Stone Magazine that gave me a whole fresh perspective on COVID and age. I share it with you here. This article mitigated some physical vulnerability and anxiety I had about leaving the city and the safe harbor Calvin and I created in our apartment to re-connect with my family. It reminded me of the energy I had when I read that magazine in the 70s, of the powerful girl I was. The strong woman I am. The article distinguishes between chronological age and biological age. There are multiple quizzes you can take to determine biological age. Mine is 45. My chronological age is 67. That is where my race and class privilege comes into the picture. Health status for older people depends on race, income, education level, level of stressful occurrences, and other variables.
Stress of any kind affects our health but especially stress from not enough income and racism. For those who have stated in the comments last week a willingness to learn here is an article that addresses how racism is a constant stressor that affects older Black Americans’ health and well-being.I have also been reading that negative thoughts about getting old and being old put you at higher risk for cardiovascular death. And there is plenty of research that shows that clothing and what you wear can positively affect your performance, cognition, and mood. The other side of this is that it can also make you feel bad. It’s all about the meaning you ascribe to it. So rather than others telling us what we should think and how we should live as older persons or any age person, let’s tell others alternative ways they can think about the topics we care about, and already have lots of experience with. As one of you put it in a comment, let’s get clear and loud about what we can bring to this day and to the current conversations about the way things have to change.
My daughter came to pick me up after three months of quarantine and when we hugged we wept. Life is so precious. That’s why when we go out again we need to return to living a life filled with passion, discovery, and respectful recognition of limitations but an expansion and amplification of our strengths. We have so much to share and we should not allow society to make it hard for us to both give and take. These too are not mutually exclusive.
While I experienced stress from not seeing my family during quarantine, the enforced seclusion reduced many other issues causing me daily stress. In the quarantine’s quiet, I realized how stressful the constant noise of the city is. It’s a relief not to deal with jam-packed subway cars and crowds rushing upstairs. The levels of pollution that now make it even harder to breathe with a mask. Calvin and I will look this year to move north and be closer to my daughter.
Let’s start our best life conversation with a conversation about stress and ways we might improve our biological age and build healthy immune systems.
What causes you stress and how do/can we creatively interrupt the impact it may have on our biological age? What questions about this topic do you have?
Luciana Castrillonon July 2, 2020 at 12:11 pm
Quarantine increases proprioceptivo. I became aware that this aging body demands care – it responds differently to food, shoes, textures and circumstances. I must respond faster and more creatively to my aging body – and developing vital ways to express who I am becomes less of a life accessory but a path to survival. Thank you for your insights and personal drive.
Luciana Castrillonon July 2, 2020 at 12:13 pm
There is a mister in my reply – it should say “proprioceptivon” that is the ability to tune into bodily experiences
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:26 am
A very interesting concept. I am going to explore.
Kimberly Roseon October 20, 2020 at 11:32 am
Beautifully written and so true
VALERIE J. BOTTERon July 2, 2020 at 12:19 pm
This is a wonderful post. “It’s been like a detox from the consumerist social media world and the need for constant self-promotion I got lost in. Living a “fashionable” life is so much more than the clothes you wear. It’s also how you “wear” your values, experience, and morality. Clothes or other “things” that give us pleasure and values that honor all people and the planet don’t have to be mutually exclusive. It can be a creative challenge to find the intersections.” This really speaks to me on so many levels. Your posts, outfits, and messages are inspirational. And your photographer is pretty awesome as well.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:19 am
My photographer is my life partner of 22 years, Calvin who loves me and it shows!
Griet Baetenon July 2, 2020 at 12:29 pm
A beautiful article that precisely describes the daily reality in this time. I am delighted that there are still people with the same thoughts as myself are living on this earth!
Thanks for these inspiring words!Brenda Kaldenbachon July 2, 2020 at 12:34 pm
I have been following you with interest for some time. Thank you for your illuminating comments. At 67, still working in publishing, this corona year has indeed been one to examine essentials and priorities.
Joanieon July 2, 2020 at 12:42 pm
Things that cause me stress:
Worrying about my health- Covid 19
Worry about financial security
Worry about the state of our family/country/worldThings to relieve that stress:
Meditate, read, listen to music
Eat healthy, highly nutritious foods
Stay active daily/exercise
Stay connected to family by phone
Contribute to worthy causes
Write my lawmakers to support justice in its many forms
Support companies that share my worldview
I am fortunate and grateful to be able to accomplish many of these activities. I am 62, white, retired, married, own my own home, have an adequate income. I can share my abundance with those less fortunate. Giving is truly living and loving.Sara Dubmanon July 2, 2020 at 12:46 pm
Such a happy post. At 67 I can totally relate to it all!
Hanna Hickey Sumpfon July 2, 2020 at 12:49 pm
In this time of stress and unrest, where friends send me conspiracy articles , and family members from Europe send me information about” my” irresponsible President, articles and thoughts like yours are a nourishment to my soul.
Although I live in the woods outside Hudson, I wear something age inappropriate, and what lifts up my mind every day, put on some makeup, and I take walks in the fields of OMI, a sculpture park next to my house.
A bit of style , the appreciation of art and daily talks and messages with my daughters in Greece and Switzerland keep me focused and sane.Louise Michaudon July 2, 2020 at 12:50 pm
Hello to YOU MADAME! You are a great example for me, of great inspiration! Thank you for all your publications! I have a crush on what you wear, this beautiful blue dress and this jeans !!! It’s wonderfull !!! I wish I could buy it, is it possible?
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:16 am
The dress is Pleats Please by Issey Miyake, a past season. So you may take a look in consignment shops or wait until a new color comes out.
Mary Baileyon July 2, 2020 at 12:52 pm
As always, you captured and wrote what we need to hear and feel. I always wanted to live in NYC. Now I know that wish is no longer viable due to my disdain for so much noise! The traffic is different than Los Angeles with much more honking! I crave the countryside with trips to the city. I’m almost 60 and what I fear more than death is the rip in our country, our world. What happened to disagreeing with decorum and respect, yet still being friends? I don’t like this iteration of the world. You captured all these feelings. Blessings to you!
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:15 am
Yes, civil society seems to have disappeared at the moment.
Mary Groganon July 2, 2020 at 12:53 pm
The news and political situation cause me stress. I watch less news now and find more creative outlets such as walking, reading a book, listening to music, sketching, playing with the cat and photography. I like your longer hair, it suits you.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:13 am
Thank you. My hair reminds me of a time when I was quite feisty. I have a love-hate relationship with the news, working on it.
Mary Groganon July 6, 2020 at 8:36 pm
Feisty is a good thing to hold onto. I appreciate you so much. Your words inspire me.
Mary Groganon July 6, 2020 at 8:40 pm
Feisty is a good thing to hold onto. Your ideas and style are inspirational.
Muffet Joneson July 2, 2020 at 12:57 pm
I really appreciate your posts. I took the biological age quiz and seem to be 47 (chronological age is 68). I would have done better except that since the Great Interrupter (perfect term – much more positive than The Plague , but I’m a Medievalist!) my classes went online and I have been chained to my computer and I had to put my gym membership on hold. My stress comes from having always been in an artistic field and now education, none of which has ever paid well. I compartmentalize, but I’m pretty sure there is leakage. Lately I have felt much more self-conscious about my age and it’s marks on my face and body and that has also been troubling. It doesn’t help that after a lifetime in NYC I find myself in a rural state where shopkeepers insist on calling women of a certain age “honey” or “sweetie” as if you were in your second childhood. It has helped a great deal to read your posts and those of your other readers – community is everything, especially right now.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:12 am
Yes indeed, community and storytelling where we are the authors of the story is what this is all about.
Sandra Peckon July 2, 2020 at 12:57 pm
What a great post. I am enjoying the quiet of the isolation. At 72, a time to reflect on my past and prepare for the future. This time has helped me make some important decisions and begin to learn how to care for myself more fully.
The only thing that causes me much stress is concern for my son and grandchildren.
Thank you for sharing your life.
Liza Heideron July 2, 2020 at 1:23 pm
Your earrings are absolutely marvelous! I wish I could hug my mom right now but I am unable to cross the border. If I do, I would have to quarantine for 14 days once I reenter Canada. We talk on the phone quite a bit but the reality that I might not see my mom for several months is difficult and stressful. And my mom has a very fragile immune system so I worry about her every day. Soak in every hug with your daughter and loved ones.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:10 am
Still not able to see my mom who is in a nursing home. Waiting for that day.
Ariadneon July 2, 2020 at 1:25 pm
My stressor is venturing out in public and I have resolved to ‘retire from public life’. No, I am not a celebrity but I am finding that minimizing non-virtual contact with the general population is my welcome remedy. I will shop by mail or drive up.
Maybe it is looking ‘old’ or maybe it is the Corona panic but for almost a year now I have not been able to have an experience in public that did not involve getting verbally assaulted.
Maybe it is the area of the US that I now live, where civic leaders are not heeding health authorities and a metropolitan culture is absent.
Yesterday I was verbally accosted and ridiculed by a fellow patron in the post office because I wore a mask and was social distancing.
Despite large signs indicating this requested behavior this person (who wore no mask) physically blocked me from using the exit while continuing to rant at me. (It was lunch time so no postal workers were there to intervene). This person would not move out of egress so I waited inside untill they turned away and then I scooted out, away from the direction of their spittle.
The really insane thing is this person was a young black man who was spouting “Trumpisms” verbatim to me re: the pandemic!!OK, maybe this person ‘relieved’ their own stress buy abusing a stanger. I have also read of people intentionally coughing on others at the coffee house and I am sure the anti-vaxers will not participate when we do have a COVID vaccine.
There is madness everywhere now and I will avoid it to preserve whatever years I have left.
My newest wardrobe acquisition will be a T-shirt that says WTF!!Nancyon July 2, 2020 at 2:15 pm
I’m so glad you wrote this. I read it aloud to my husband, and we decided to acquire the same t-shirt!
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:10 am
The carelessness is indeed upsetting. We have become somewhat “faceless’ and virtual with a mask and zoom making it harder to read facial expressions that allow for the development of empathy. Yes, this is very stressful indeed.
Susan Mastine Fixon July 6, 2020 at 10:20 am
I would be more than happy to tastefully design that t-shirt for you. My new message on the artful shirts that I am painting is ” I choose. ” I find that this phrase sums up so many situations…I choose to be kind… I choose to create rather than destroy… I choose to wear a mask … and the reasons why I choose each thing is because I can. This is America and I get to choose. My Mother in her infinite wisdom would say , ” That person is obviously very unhappy to treat another human being with such cruelty.” Her phrase would be, ” kill them with kindness.” Mine would be similar but possibly , ” surprise them with kindness.” No one deserves to be treated unkindly for their choices. I have heard of similar instances and I’m sorry you were subjected to this.
Tawana Fulmeron July 2, 2020 at 1:42 pm
I love this post! We are in Texas and live in the suburbs and not far from the country. It has been a positive to this current situation. Clutter makes me stressed. An aging parent is stressful because I want the best for the mom who has given everyone her best.
Wini Breweron July 2, 2020 at 1:42 pm
What causes me stress? The media. Donald Trump. I am a 77 year old artist. I feel about 30 on a good day, 40 on a bad day. I am lucky to be a painter. It gives me something to DO in isolation. Many women don’t appear to have a life passion. That is sad.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:06 am
It’s never too late to find one and even more important at this time of life.
Maureen Lynchon July 2, 2020 at 1:42 pm
You are leaving the City??? We are also thinking of moving north. We are both lifetime New Yorkers – born & bred in Manhattan. A new adventure. Please keep us posted on your “ move north”. Good luck.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:05 am
Since I find myself sharing most of my life online I will be showing the whole process lol
Nancyon July 2, 2020 at 2:04 pm
While your writing is always inspiring, affirming, encouraging, and informative, today’s blog is the “cherry on top” as far as emotion! The sentence about your daughter picking you up, hugging and weeping was like an arrow piercing my heart ….. and tears erupted. You express yourself so well with words that I could feel how you must have felt ….. immense, bittersweet joy. I now know exactly how it will feel when I reconnect with my daughter and son.
Thank you.Susan Spenceron July 2, 2020 at 2:08 pm
After paying off debt & focusing on saving for retirement I moved from a large metropolitan area 4 years ago to a rural area with a little acreage. I knew no one. Within 2 weeks a group of folks had embraced the newbie & have been the good friends since. Yes I miss the conveniences of the city yet can’t imagine living there again. When I go back to the city the vibe is so different. Drivers are more aggressive, everything is so intense, people seem closed off. I get out of there as fast as I can.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:04 am
Validating my impulse to leave and as you say I can always visit!
Mary Brignanoon July 2, 2020 at 2:15 pm
Very engaging post. Somewhat like you, I have had the very good fortune to use this “great interruption” to focus on things I care about — family, my garden, and creating things, not consuming things. I do feel less stressed. But, of course, the lurking presence of the unseen bug mitigates this, even showing up in dreams. Nevertheless, it’s good to see you evaluating your recent whirlwind life (which, frankly, I found a lot less appealing and authentic than your more introspective earlier pieces). I wish you health and happiness as we all go forward.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:01 am
Thank you, I feel much happier being in this place.
Amy Woodruffon July 2, 2020 at 2:55 pm
Wow. Ditto and thank you for expressing this so well. Will pass it along.
Miriam Schereron July 2, 2020 at 3:33 pm
I wanted to let you know how much I look forward to receiving your pearls of wisdom in my email. I’ve decided to print them all, so I can review them. The pandemic and sheltering has definitely changed who I am and my values as well. I retired in mid April of this year and worked basically since I was 15–mostly as a medical receptionist for the past 40 years. I love to help other people and make their lives easier during such a stressful and difficult time as an illness brings. I love family, exercise, fashion, museums, travel, trying new restaurants. As you can see, the pandemic eliminated most. I, too, have found slowing down enjoyable and restorative. It has changed my focus on what is important. I continue to walk and do yoga and exercise through Zoom. Family is uber important. We are in Chicago and able to see our children and grandchild often. I appreciate the love and friendship my husband brings to everyday living. I am branching out to make a book of photographs I have taken and quotes which are inspiring as well as creating some stationery to send an old fashioned letter. This seems to be stress relieving. Walking and enjoying the beauty of the sky and flowers is stress relieving as well. I try to smile at other people with my eyes. Interrupting stress and creating joy can impact our biological age as well as exercise and healthy eating. Please continue to write. I love the connection and your honesty.
Lizon July 2, 2020 at 4:33 pm
I am a fresh 44 year old woman, who wears nothing but thrift store clothing, and outfits from stores that are inexpensive. I am highly creative, yet seem to find a reason to hold myself back. I like what you said about what my clothing says about me. And right now, I am hoping it is showing that I am a unique woman with talents that will blow your hair back. Your article said a lot, and maybe this did not, but you are a insperation in my life.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 9:02 am
Your comment said a great deal.
Barbara Christianon July 2, 2020 at 5:37 pm
Please address living on a “fixed income” and ways it increases stress levels and how to minimize the impact.
Amy Joon July 6, 2020 at 8:58 am
Hi Barbara, if I could chime in, as a financial planner and student of behavioral finance/neuroeconomics, I can affirm that the lack of resources usually creates tremendous stress –for many reasons.
If I had to be brief in prescribing a treatment, it’d be nurturing creativity; see how you might make do with what you already have (repurpose, redesign, reuse, recycle) so you don’t have to use resources to acquire things. There are groups supporting this (such as The Non-Consumer Advocate, The Buy Nothing Project, and I run the “I HATE Budgeting (But I Like Having Money) support group). It’s about having a new narrative as well as a new lens.
Christine De Potoon July 2, 2020 at 5:51 pm
I too was over driven by fashion. After pining for things for a while, unable to make a purchase like I used to, I realized I really didn’t need them or want them and the fire died down. I also discovered that I had some pretty neat stuff already and, this is most important, that I can style things in unique and interesting ways. That extends to my whole environment. Shifting things around, repurposing, rediscovering and treating things that were formerly viewed as too precious in interesting ways has put a new and different spark into my sense of fashion. It’s not really “fashion” it’s style; it’s not acquisitiveness, it’s a cultivated, intelligent aesthetic sensibility.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:56 am
Cultivated, intelligent, aesthetic sensibility a great mantra!
Janet Vanderhoofon July 2, 2020 at 5:55 pm
Have you heard of Dr. Joe Dispenza? I have been doing his meditations. I especially love Blessing of the Energy centers. I meditate 45 minutes a day no matter what. It has significantly lowered my stress levels as well as elevated my mood. I’m 69 and you are mirroring my thoughts and actions.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:55 am
Thanks for the tip.
bonnieon July 2, 2020 at 6:59 pm
wow. personally, i am trying to make an effort to rid myself of toxic people in my world…altho the longer i live, it seems there are more. funny how a pandemic can actually bring them out! perhaps i have less patience. well, not perhaps. i do have less patience. i know i had to retire from my career (interior design) because if found that people weren’t really hiring me for my expertise, but rather to validate the decisions they wanted to make. and i wouldn’t play that game. there weren’t enough real collaborators out there any more to make it worthwhile…i digress. i meditate every morning now. and try to do some art or other creative endeavor. throughout my life, i was not happy unless i was being creative or surrounded with creative people. IG helps with that, as well, as i dress up and post photos and memories. its fun for me, and a great distraction from the time we are in. i am fortunate to live with a sweet man in a very quiet neighborhood. at 72, i am only just beginning to feel time catching up with me. not so much in the mirror, but in my body. so lucky to have women like you in my life, who share their knowledge so generously. thank you!
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:52 am
It is so interesting to me the way real creativity and collaboration has become subverted into consumerism and endless reproductions of sameness.
Lenore Salazaron July 2, 2020 at 6:59 pm
Thank you so much for the pleasure your posts give me. I will be 81 this summer. I’m grateful for my good health and fairly sharp mind ( I have a little trouble recalling names but the names do ultimately come to me and that’s par for my cohort.) I have always loved fashion and costume jewelry and I opened an Etsy shop 8 years ago. Selling my things gives me almost as much pleasure as acquiring them did. My place in the demographics convinced me to stop buying and let my lovely things go to others who can enjoy them. I just mailed a fabulous Midcentury coat by Lilli Ann of Paris to a customer in California. After spending $47. on postage (my nickel) from NY to CA, I didn’t make much money but I felt happy anticipating how pleased the buyer might be. So glad to have found a mind like yours! You are a delightful person of substance! Thanks again.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:49 am
Such a wonderful way to honor both the clothes and their makers and wearers.
Christine Krebson July 2, 2020 at 7:11 pm
Thank you for your writing. I enjoyed this very much.
I would say what causes me the most stress would be my concern for others including my community, my family and the world as a whole. I have recently started to listen to international news sources. It’s quite interesting, but very unsettling at the same time.
I have accepted that I can only do my best, and to let everything else go.
I skip meat and dairy and limit my sugar intake. Eating healthy plays a huge part in my health and also helps with maintaining a positive outlook.
I have not retired as of yet, so my time outside work is limited, but I have a close friend who I walk with every day, and I purchase thrift clothes, or vintage items online. I have a small fashion blog based on my thrifty finds.
I enjoy spending time alone, am independent and hope to one day live overlooking the ocean or water of some sort. There are some great small artists communities out there, and many wonderful treasures left in life. All we have to do is look.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:48 am
There is so much out there to be found. I am ready.
Rita Herseyon July 2, 2020 at 7:45 pm
I’m 70 and in a Covid hotbed Austin TX. My friends and I share your anxieties but we have space as we’re in houses. I watch the morning news shows (Gayle King) in their apartment day after day and know you’ve had it extra difficult there. Clothing has always been such fun and important to me especially the older and more invisible I feel. It’s like a costume and allows me to hide my Insecurities. I love your blog and am new to it and so glad to see mature gals showing their true colors. Rock on lady!
Anngieon July 2, 2020 at 8:25 pm
I do apologize when I’ve wronged others. I was taught that, that is strenth.
However, to apologize for where I am, and what I have today, is to me to denounce my & my family’s trials & tribulations to be where we are.Elise Greyon July 2, 2020 at 9:04 pm
Your articles have become my iconic glossy magazine. The content written so well that I can ‘see’ amazing photographs, ads and illustrations so vividly that I actually page to and fro lest I miss something of your message and creativity carefully tucked between the lines. Thank you ?
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:45 am
Thank you, I am going to focus more on my photography and writing so stay tuned!
Tracyon July 3, 2020 at 4:12 am
Wow, so thoughtful. I love reading about this adventure that you are on. I live in the woods in Northern Ontario. I love pretty clothes but my opportunities to wear them are limited. Despite that I love the peacefulness of my surroundings. Staying home isn’t so bad when I can walk my (large)dog and not see another soul. When the heat is unbearable, I jump in the river that flows through my backyard. It is pretty nice.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:44 am
Right now your description of where you live sounds exactly like what I am dreaming of.
Diana Lemaireon July 3, 2020 at 8:33 am
Lovely post. I too have been bearing the weight of lockdown here in Canada.
However, rules are beginning to loosen and hair salons are opening, with sanitizers and masks on. I lost my hair during chemotherapy and since then I have let my hair grow with the occasional trim. But, at 66 and after hitting my 5-years cancer-free milestone I decided it was time to say good-bye to the glorious grey hair that I have treasured over these last 5 years.
I now sport a shoulder-length shaggy haircut and the release that I feel is wonderful. I didn’t appreciate that the heaviness of hair was so entangled with the heaviness of my life in lockdown. The sense of freedom that comes with shedding something…anything whether its clothing, attitudes or yes, hair is rejuvenating.
Just a thought on a stress-reliever.
PS…the blog Fibershed might be of interest. http://www.fibershed.org
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:42 am
Thank you!
Abbieon July 3, 2020 at 9:22 am
I have found that staying safe from Covid 19 and supporting BLM can be wondrous learning opportunities, ways for me to identify and reduce the stress in my life. For me, it is good to be slow and patient. This spartan lifestyle shines a light on the importance for me to eat healthy food, exercise everyday and reach out to loved ones. I am letting myself just be.
The works of many Black artists like Viola Davis, Lizzo, Spike Lee, Roxanne Gay, Ava DuVernay, Issa Rae have given me wonderful entertainment and things to think about over the past months. Black owned businesses such as https://www.soleilboston.com let me rent movies and give back. Evolving a personal style isn’t quite the same as making a movie, a song or a book. Though, I do believe that we are connected through that creative drive and personal expression. There is a risk involved, a price you have to pay for going against the status quo. Balance the harmful stress with the good stress.
AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:41 am
So many positive outcomes, so much learning and growth. Creativity and personal expression can be so energizing and I actually get more energy from resisting the status quo than succumbing to it lol.
Green Heronon July 3, 2020 at 9:24 am
There was this very bad day in ’98, when I drove home having an argument in my head with a certain Trouble Person at work. I got home, threw a couch cushion on the floor, sat on it, and tried meditation for the first time.
Thank goodness for that Trouble Person, because sitting on a cushion in the morning has guided me through a divorce, breast cancer, and the joy of Trouble Person’s retirement a few years ago.
In the beginning, I thought meditation would soothe me, but turned out, it doesn’t. Sitting puts me in touch with my thoughts. If I’m anxious, I sit with that. If I’m terrified, I sit with that. If I’m sick, I sit with that. Between being a natural introvert and a meditator, it feel like my whole life has been preparation for now.
P.S. Love that dress over the jeans!
Elizabeth Walkeron July 3, 2020 at 11:48 am
You look stunning. This is deep in my heart!
Gata Collinson July 3, 2020 at 11:49 am
When I become older, I wish I could be gorgeous like u!
mariann hoffmanon July 3, 2020 at 1:05 pm
The Rolling Stone article was very sad. When our state of Arizona went into crisis care, which means they can now decide who survives the virus due to age, etc., I found it the most depressing thing I had experienced since my husband passed away in January. Here I am, 79, with a biological age of 55 and I would be treated as a nonproductive member of society and possibly passed over when it comes to extra life saving care. No one would take into account that I just published a History book at the age of 78, or that I am the guidance counsellor to my 4 children, their spouses as well as my 11 grandchildren. No one would know of all the volunteer work I do and the incredibly positive attitude I have. And I would be too sick to tell them!!!!
It is the youth of today who are spreading the virus due to their mentality that older people have lived full lives already and they should just stay home. They do not have the wisdom of patience. Even in my 40s I respected the life of an elder.
I sent that Rolling Stone article to my family and friends. There was a time when women had to fight for equality, and then those of minority races, and now the elders must fight for equality. I certainly hope AARP gets a wind of this article.
As always, I enjoy your musings and informative articles. Unlike you, I have always been happy with my entire life, always ready to change on a dime to experience something new if something old did not work out. I have had my share of troubles and experienced post partum depression once but life is so damn good and we only get this one, so they say.
Keep writing. You have meaningful talent. You reach many.AccidentalIconon July 5, 2020 at 8:36 am
Thank you so much. This is exactly the project I want us to take on, we cannot allow ourselves to be treated like a non-productive member of society and we need to amplify that message. Thank you for putting it so beautifully. I have the same approach to life in that if something is not working I have no problem making a change. Life is always “perfectly imperfect” and if we accept that we can identify what is in our control and what is not.
it makes me think we should get medical bracelets that have our biological age on them LOL
Eleanor I Murphyon July 4, 2020 at 5:37 pm
What gives me stress on these uncertain times. Is, of course, the Corid-Virus. At my age and with an autoimmune disease, I have to be careful. So I follow the CDC guidelines. I just love reading your post, wishing you a safe weekend.
Anne Scotton July 6, 2020 at 6:59 am
‘Living a “fashionable” life is so much more than the clothes you wear. It’s also how you “wear” your values, experience, and morality. ‘ Love this!
Amy Joon July 6, 2020 at 9:17 am
I’ve enjoyed your blogs even more since “The Great Interrupter,” they’re so pensive and poetic. This post really resonated, especially “So rather than others telling us what we should think and how we should live as older persons or any age person, let’s tell others alternative ways they can think about the topics we care about…” You are helping us redefine aging.
I’m not the type of person who gets stressed easily and haven’t been all that bothered by the pandemic…except that it — like most things — has gotten political.
I recently made a decision to be apolitical and it has helped me tremendously.
I can listen to, be respectful of, even disagree (internally) with others without giving energy to an opinion (and taking energy away from something more meaningful, such as love, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding).Noelon July 6, 2020 at 10:28 am
When I visited NYC for the first time a few years ago, I couldn’t imagine how people could live with the honking car horns. I mean it’s constant. When I was pregnant years ago, with each pregnancy I had that terrible, incurable all-day-long sickness for 5 months. And I had the smell of a wolf. I could smell the wind! My husband had to brew coffee in the garage, the aroma of a roast cooking sent waves of nausea, and I could even smell when my husband opened a small jar of picante sauce in the kitchen when I was three rooms away. Therefore, I could smell car exhaust coming into my home from the parents dropping kids off at school across the street. I had to close the windows to keep from stumbling to the bathroom. AND when I returned home from driving, I had to change my clothes because they reeked of car exhaust/fumes. That just goes to show how much we don’t realize we’re taking in. I don’t smell those things now, but I still remember.
So, I cannot imagine living in a big city. The body is incredibly resilient, apparently. When I’m out running, listening to the birds, looking at the sky, hearing and seeing the wind blowing in the trees, smelling the fragrance of magnolias, honeysuckles, pine, and other wonderful green fragrances, it doesn’t feel like there is a pandemic. I know you have so enjoyed the quiet, have discovered something within you that finds respite, refresh, and refocus. I can totally relate. I’m an hour and a half away from you; I’ve been to NYC three times for business. That’s it. When I’m there, I suffer from sensory overload. Lol…I guess that’s a long-winded way of saying that quiet alleviates my stress: quiet running, quite coffee time, quiet meditation after reading scripture each day, quiet time to lay in bed at night. Beautiful quiet.
P.S. Love the longer hair w/barrette and always love your photos. They are always interesting. I look forward to them.
Sarahon August 8, 2020 at 1:56 pm
It’s so strange, I’ve been told since I was a child that I was very mature and thoughtful for my age. I’ve never had a period in my life that was totally carefree or reckless. Income was a huge stressor for me (student loan debt), until I started my online biz. It has lessened a bit now that I have a plan and agency to get where I want to be financially.
Stay safe everybody.Fridaon August 10, 2020 at 9:54 pm
It’s the best look I even seen with miyake.
AnarikAon August 13, 2020 at 4:32 pm
wonderful article, well narrated
marie deMontravelon September 11, 2020 at 12:42 pm
we moved to NYC after our children left for college. I am grateful for the time there. was a teacher downtown in the midst of 9/11.. saw the 2nd plane take down the WTC.
Miss the noise of traffic, the opera, broadway shows and museums. Now under lockdown in Naples Fl. beautiful resort style living., unlike NYC. i miss the city.helen sterlingon September 12, 2020 at 4:19 pm
Good Day
I miss you.
Where are you and what have been doing……..Helen S